My neighbor watches Thai game shows at 3AM
I lay in bed and stare at the wall
I needed to leave America to know America
To know myself
To look across the world
at patterns
My body floats
Drifting between home and another life
the nervous system becomes desperate
you have to commit to this new ground
before you disappear
I hold myself close
I whisper outloud
like I am my own mother
You came here to tear open
To break down and rebuild
And so here is the breaking
Slowly, now rewire