Sleeping on the floor

I've been at this Reggae hostel for a long time.

These guys, they are always drinking so much cheap Thai beer and passing out on the floor.

The guy I love is always
drinking
so much cheap Thai beer and
passing out on
the floor.

And. Well.

The floor is a cool pillow. All of the time even if it’s hot outside!
The floor will absorb some heat from your body.
In exchange the floor will
remind you of something stable
consistent
unchanging and rigid and nearly dead.

Love does not remain here long. Sleeping on the floor
you’re on the ground already.

There’s no place
  to
fall.

Sleeping on me would be different because you would be floating.  

My river would carry you to other streams. 
My river would carry you to the sea.
Or throw you into rapids
with violent motion
shaking up habits.

Do you understand what I am saying?

I want to shake up your habits.

Bjork, Bjork's Robot & I

At a Lao café again.
Initially for a Thai visa but
reading about heart break and devotion in an upscale magazine
narrated by Bjork.

She is trustworthy. I want to sit with Bjork and her intensity. 

Congruently we will collaborate on a love diagram in order to approach THESE FEELINGS in a lateral way. A line graph. Inspired by the 23 year old Thai man with nice lips. Our muse. Who nearly took me swimming at a university that looked like Harvard if Harvard looked like that,  I wouldn’t know. The pool was closed. But he could also talk to birds. Bjork would fall in love with him too, I'll bet!

Aloha John, 

I am alone cafe is rather I feel sets tourists outside I mainly because.

^ Bjork’s robot would type that to express these emotions.

Getting through it happens naturally

As the moon wanes, heavy feelings of loss proceed devastatingly slow. There is nothing to speed this process of becoming nothing to become new. But still, we proceed.

Well I don't have any money but I am in touch with myself

Enjoying time with others upon realizing it is all about;
Freedom. Mobility. Fluidity.
I promise to work for these things in
the life I currently have. But I have
many lives
in many places.
How long is this sustainable?
How can I integrate these pieces?

If this is not possible, OK
I will take this double life, triple life
while I still can.

Dirt and beauty

This bar/hostel does not have a door but it DOES have a lot of graffiti and it DOES have a lot of guys sitting around talking about Cambodian politics and then about the monkey which came out of that stripper’s vagina. Damp, it gave a thumbs up sign…the monkey I think, or maybe the stripper too? I don’t ask for clarification I AM JUST TRYING TO BLEND IN WITH THE GUYS!

Trip Advisor lables this as the dirtiest hostel in Bangkok. A man smokes in my face as the bartender talks about the cats. There are so many cats here running around and sometimes they burrow into the couch to give birth. So you’ll have to put up a sign on the couch, right, DO NOT SIT HERE. CATS INSIDE. Haha.

Two people at the bar discuss their rash. Vegans cook something in the communal kitchen. 

I stay here 6 months and that was too much time.
But you cannot get these lessons elsewhere.

Sleeping naked on plastic

Arriving in Bangkok with no money.  At least, not enough to buy sheets for this small apartment.

The waterproof mattress sticks to my skin so I cover it with silk scarfs.
I bundle some clothes into some other clothes for a lumpy pillow.

I am so happy.
Falling asleep naked.
The window looks over the Chao Phraya River as the city moves and I dream of you.

Little comfort is needed when you are 24 with love shimmering.

Ylang ylang

Ylang ylang

you rang you rang?

No.

He has gone to Amherst.

How to teach anybody anything

Learning from Thai children
that you must let people settle
into a new surrounding
with a new person
before speaking with them
in a new language.

You can teach anybody anything.
But sit down before diving in.
Eat something.

Pause.
Listen.
Pause.

Teach.

 

Dear Mary II

I am feeling weird in Qater. I have Jet Lag. The plane donned a sign advertising the importance of moving the legs or else the feet will swell.
Swell is a hideous word and I moved my legs.

Upon arrival all passengers moved to the transfer station and there was a problem, we were stuck in a line and the men became angry. The temperature rose with their body heat. Fingers were pointed into faces. Security was called several times. This could be normal culture, a more direct style of confrontation over saving face. More likely a conditioned airport response. 

In the Qatar airport some women take the form of black burkas. More than I expected. They are like birds shuffling around, parallel to their husbands dressed in white robes.

Bang Su junction 2

Train delay so sitting with the fattest dogs and fattest pigeons ever seen!
You want to see them? OK, come to this train stop. Bang Su is near Bangkok.

These pigeons are so fat they are like circles.
These dogs are so fat they are like rectangles.

What are these animals eating?

Leftover food at the kiosks, I guess;
Fried rice and pools of water mixed with salty grease.  

A balloon seller struts by with his cellophane bouquet;
Pink, orange, green and full, threatening to pop.